Sarah, you have studied that note for note, terrific job. My only cronstructice advice would be to work on the smoooooth flowing quality of it. Think silky, and scoop and slide up and down between those notes of yours. The vocals do come across as been a bit choppy at times. Maybe have some images in your mind that make the piece very emotional for you. Pain, suffering, relief, sadness, relief, death, hurt and meloncholy. But It's a great effort you made and well done. As someone said, not an easy piece to do.
You did good....well done!
Bob