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Well, Lorna prompted me, so here it is.

Unless you're all too embarrassed to talk about sex without doing so in a roundabout sort of way.

OK, let's get started with what might be a controversial point of view.

Yes, I'd classify sex as an addiction, in the negative sense of the word.  We want it, crave it, need it despite the fact that it may often be a meaningless, valueless and even not very enjoyable experience.

Then again, I haven't been getting any for ages, so maybe I'm biased.  ;D

T

Well, that's quite interesting.

I don't think one can be addicted to sex if one finds it an unenjoyable or "routine" experience.  That is, you still want sex - you just might not want it with the person you're with (for many reasons).

I've been in relationships where the sex has become a bit boring, and in those circumstances I didn't consider myself "addicted".  I still needed sex, but the idea of doing it with my girlfriend didn't appeal to me (during that particular period of time).

If the sex is good, and you can't get enough of it then it IS a healthy addiction.

My thinking is that the wanting/needing is what constitutes the addiction - and further, that such wants/needs exist independently of either specific persons or the quality of the actual experience.

I certainly think that you can want/need sex even if you don't particularly like it.  IMHO Charles Darwin was right on that count: his "survival of the fittest" theory included the argument that we're all "wired" to have sex with as many partners as possible, thus producing as many children as possible and ensuring the survival of the race. Enjoyment isn't required: only consummation of the act is.

And I'd argue that tying sex in, qualitatively speaking, with preferences regarding partners derives from a Victorian confusion of sexual desire with romantic love.  Love and sex *are* connected - but sexual desire can exist, as an addiction, quite independently of love.  Surely the existence of thriving prostitution industries world wide demonstrates that.



I'd say that that qualifies as a healthy manifestation of an addiction which in itself is neither healthy nor unhealthy - it simply is.

T

My opinion is that Sex is indeed an addiction, well for males anyway, this goes back to Freudian Psychosexual development, he believed that males were indeed overly controlled by the Id (primal urge portion of the brain, aswell as selfish thoughts and unacceptable desires) it takes up 70% of concious thought as well as the assumption of the Ego (reality complex 15%) and superego (environmental complex 15%) The Id is a creation of evolution and Darwinian thought. It was shown that Males (and you can even watch the animal kingdom for proof) that males are sexually "addicted" to continue family legacy and pass down genetic inheritance to other females, whereas Females look for survival of the fittest, the male that can be a big provider and protect the young. Also that when a male is convinced a female is "fit" or they look very "sexy" it is actually unconcious thought, as you do not believe they are fit but the features they possess, will indeed lead to a healthy inheritance and more reproductive chance of a healthy baby. Its tying in with primal urges of the Id and passing of genetics.
Sorry to be very technical and indeed psychological but from this i believe we are indeed "addicted" because males "have to be" and the thought of sex is very appealing, whereas for females being "addicted" there is some difficulty as its mostly believed they like a certain one partner. It could be overgratification!

...Sorry if either confused or made people think Im a really crazy human being, I really love psychology and have a tendency to explain everything through this mean as its very analytical and a bit more supportive of questions that are unanswerable

I agree Jon, and that's why men can't help but look at women that enter the room, walk past them etc etc. I've never had a problem with this as I know that men can't help it. IT IS in their "make up". I feel very sorry for both the men and the women that have problems with this very thing. I'm not a jealous person and have a very loving relationship with my husband. If an attractive woman appears on tv or enters the room then we might both comment that she is indeed attractive. She may have stunning eyes or beautiful hair, perfect boobs etc and if I see that then I have no problems with my husband seeing that too. The bottom line is he's with me and we're both happy.