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THE OFFICIAL CANADIAN TEMPERATURE CONVERSION CHART

50 F (10 C) -- Californians shiver uncontrollably - Canadians plant their
gardens

35 F (1.6 C) -- Italian Cars won't start - Canadians drive with the
windows down

32 F (0 C) -- American water freezes - Canadian water gets thicker

0 F (-17.9 C) -- New York City landlords finally turn on the heat -
Canadians have one more cookout

-60 F (-51 C) -- Mt. St. Helen's freezes - Canadian Girl guides sell
cookies door to door

-100 F (-73 C) -- Santa Claus abandons the North Pole - Canadians pull
down their ear flaps

-173 F (-114 C) -- Alcohol freezes - Canadians get frustrated when they
can't thaw the keg

-460 F (-273 C) -- Absolute zero; all atomic motion ceases. Canadians
start saying "cold, eh?"

-500 F (-295 C) -- Hell freezes over. The Toronto Maple Leafs win the
Stanley Cup!

;D

Bob there was a few flakes of snow in London this week and the whole capital took the day off work. Southern softies.

there's hardly been any snow here in Bolton ! i was hoping to get my skis out of the garage and have a practice as well !

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Whatever.

English winter

15c Everyone's saying how 'warm' it is for this time of year, but its very windy, so stupid lorry drivers with empty curtainsiders run around  with the curtains SHUT, result = overturned lorries everywhere.

10c Wet and raining, but everyone's seems OK apart from those with SAD, some invented syndrome for the lazy.

5c Things are starting to get cold now, snow starts to fall and transport starts to grind to a halt because of a lack of grit. Severe weather warning issued.

0c The snow freezes, local councils still don't grit the roads, cars start doing summersaults, the trains stop completely , no one goes to work apart from those who cannot afford not to. Schools are shut for some reason or another.

-5c  Things go from bad to worse, cars don't start, people are waking around dresses like Eskimos, but the kids are loving it as the schools still can't be arsed to open. Some scientist comes on the tele saying the weather is a result of global warming and its all our fault.

-10c  Britain closes for the winter, or until the snow and ice disappears.

-20c Whats  -20c ??? ???

The there's the British summer.

15c Spring time, everyone's happy because the winter has finally passed.

20c Its starting to warm up, the sun is shining and people are still happy.

25c People start to moan about it being too warm. The roads start to melt. Severe weather warning issued.

30c Its too hot, is what most people are now saying, air-con systems are at full tilt, the trains come to a stop because the track are 'warping'. Gritters are out gritting the roads to stop them melting. People are turning up at A&E with sunburn/stroke.

35c Summers here, and everyone is moaning about the heat, air-con systems are starting the breakdown , some scientist comes on the TV saying the weather is a direct result of global warming and we are the cause.

40c It too bloody hot now, heatstroke cases triple fold, no one uses sunscreen so everyone looks like lobsters. The roads grind to a halt because the tarmac has turned to a sticky goo.